Comments on: Sandwich Pause Trick When Talking to Real People

By: Nerd Guru » Blog Archive » The Sandwich Pause Trick

Nerd Guru » Blog Archive » The Sandwich Pause Trick — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 15:40:13 +0000

[...] folks over at Web Worker Daily were kind enough to run an article I wrote for them entitled “Sandwich Pause Trick When Talking to Real People“. Take a look, you’ll find it is similar to the kinds of material that appears in this [...]

By: links for 2008-03-15

links for 2008-03-15 — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 05:23:51 +0000

[...] Sandwich Pause Trick Build natural pauses into conversation and create an extra few seconds to formulate difficult answers simply by taking a bite of food or drink of coffee when a question is asked. (tags: business body language nonverbal psychology) [...]

By: Use a Sandwich or Coffee to Give Thoughtful Answers [Speaking] » Lifehacker, tips and downloads for getting things done

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 08:56:56 +0000

[...] performance review or uber-frustrating meeting, rather than spilling forth with under-cooked ideas. Sandwich Pause Trick When Talking to Real People [Web Worker [...]

By: Use a Sandwich or Coffee to Give Thoughtful Answers [Speaking] | net is everything

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 11:01:48 +0000

[...] performance review or uber-frustrating meeting, rather than spilling forth with under-cooked ideas. Sandwich Pause Trick When Talking to Real People [Web Worker [...]

By: Elyse

Elyse — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 19:01:36 +0000

I have long been interested in non-verbal messaging. In fact, I think some of the most important messages are non-verbal and can be noticed only when one is so in the moment keenly focused on what a person says and does,that the most extreme “listening” occurs on a supersensory level. Call it
esp or intuition, I think some people
are great at behavioral observation.

Elyse
Editor-in-Chief
http://www.boomercoffeehouse.com

By: Elyse

Elyse — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:59:01 +0000

I have long been interested in non-verbal messaging. In fact, I think some of the most important messages are non-verbal and can be noticed only when one is so in the moment keenly focused on what a person says and does,that the most extremem “listening” occurs on a supersensory level. Cal it
esp or intuition, I th ink some people
are great at behavioral observation.

Elyse
Editor-in-Chief
http://www.boomercoffeehouse.com

By: Use a Sandwich or Coffee to Give Thoughtful Answers [Speaking] · TechBlogger

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 17:18:44 +0000

[...] performance review or uber-frustrating meeting, rather than spilling forth with under-cooked ideas. Sandwich Pause Trick When Talking to Real People [Web Worker [...]

By: Mike Watson

Mike Watson — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:11:53 +0000

Pete, you are a veritable genius. I speak in seminars for a living and reading body language is truly an art. Watching people and their physiological responses to external stimuli can tell one a lot. I too have used the sandwich pause on occasion and find it to be another arrow in my business quiver. Thanks for the insight!

By: jon paul davies

jon paul davies — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:50:55 +0000

Controlling the pace of a conversation is a classic way of asserting dominance. These kind of techniques don’t come naturally to people so it’s cool to have them pointed out to you. Nice article!

By: Kevin Adamson

Kevin Adamson — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:32:35 +0000

This is a classic trick for pacing conversation. When I imagine it in practice I keep thinking of Jules from “Pulp Fiction” drinking Brett’s entire Big Kahuna Sprite in one sip when trying to create a dramatic pause in his interrogation cadence (before quoting Ezekiel 25:17 and shooting him). Might be an esoteric reference, but pretty funny if you think of it in relation to this technique.

I’ve been trying to get better at being comfortable with silent eye contact during business and personal conversations(you know, for when I don’t have a sandwich handy…). I concentrate on not looking away from people’s eyes while trying to formulate my answers and while actually speaking them.

I realized how important this was when I was speaking with a girl I met recently who kept staring at my shoulder when she would respond to my questions. I didn’t really know her well enough to ask her if I had a Tony Montana-sized mountain of white stuff on my shoulder, but it got so bad that I had to ask anyway. She just said she had trouble with eye contact because she had inferiority issues and that I was dandruff-free. What a relief… And what an insight into her personality. And I learned a very valuable lesson about what type of messages my own conversation habits were sending.

By: Liz Handlin

Liz Handlin — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:04:17 +0000

Great post Pete. What a great way to give yourself a little more time to think of a good answer to a question. Love it.

By: Wendee

Wendee — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 00:20:38 +0000

Now that’s a novel approach; a very nice one at that.

As a professor teaching business practices, I try to take my students on field trips to see designers working in professional environments. The principals of studios are so gracious with their time, even though I know it takes away working hours from their day(s). The students love to soak it all in and will often hang around after a formal presentation or tour to ask questions and try to make an individual impression. As a by-stander, I can see when our host is ready to get on with his day, eager to get back to work; perhaps a little better than my students. Even the typical “Well, it’s been great …” wrap-up comments tend to go ignored in my students’ zeal to get more info while we’re there. It’s a bit difficult to be aware of the fact that we’re overstaying our welcome.

I heard an interesting solution to this as a child. We’d have a Buddhist priest visit our extended family several times a year. The priest let us in on a secret: something about having tea signaled that it was time for the visit to be up. If the priest asked for tea, then we all knew he was ready to go. If my aunt offered tea, it was a signal to the priest that we were ready for him to go. If he wasn’t ready to go, he’d wave off the tea, “Not yet, not yet..” (or, ask for yet another cup of tea, something like that … ). It was a bit of a choreographed interaction, and I’m not sure if this was universal, or just specific to this one individual. I tend to not like to work SO indirectly, but there’s a bit of cheeky charm to this approach…

By: Pete Johnson

Pete Johnson — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 21:41:41 +0000

@Barbara – I too am a big fan of reflective listening, especially in heated situations or when there is a language barrier involved. I can’t relate to problems with my Jaguar either although my first car was a non-exploding Ford Pinto 8).

@Jim – Very interesting technique indeed, and I’m not just writing that because you’re my uncle. It’s along the line of thinking that puts more emphasis on the lunch and how people interact with their prospective teammates there than the answers given in the formal interview.

Pete Johnson
HP.com Chief Architect
Personal blog: http://nerdguru.net

By: Jim Johnson

Jim Johnson — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 18:58:39 +0000

I am not a Bellsouth employee but I was a svp of large printing companies. This gets away from meetings but I would like to explain a hiring technique I used when choosing managers for our various departments. The sandwich trick reminded me of this method. It would always come down to two or three candidates as far as qualifications and years of exsperience so I always planned a lunch with each candidate asking them to drive and I always picked a the place to eat that was at least a 20 minute drive. The way he/she handled themselves in traffic told me things that wouldn’t be on their resume. Were they relaxed or constantly changing lanes. Did they drive the speed limit or were they constantly changing lanes. What condition inside was the car we were driving in such as a back seat that was used for trash. Was the inside neat and tidy. Were papers thrown up on the dash. I had a score sheet that I used and each person had their own score. When everything else was equal the person with the highest score got the job. In twenty years of using this method I never hired the wrong employee.

By: Mr. Crash

Mr. Crash — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:35:16 +0000

I am so craving a sandwich right now.

Bread… noooo… Evil carbs.

Gah.

By: Barbara Ling

Barbara Ling — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 22:37:03 +0000

That sounds like one very savvy SVP! The only SVP interaction I remember from back in corporate land was when one tried to “relate” to us worker bees by describing the angst he went thru…dealing with filling his Jaguar with gas. As his car could probably have paid for his audience’s mortgages, this attempt flew like a lead balloon. :)

However, one effective communication technique that works quite well is allowing the listener to tell the speaker, “this is what I heard you say” (and then repeat back what was gotten out of the conversation). At the end, the listener says, “Did I miss something?” to which the speaker has an opportunity to fix any miscommunications.

Done several times, back and forth, it really helps boil down the main essence of a conversation and ensure everyone is on the same page.

Enjoy,

Barbara