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How to Deal with Web Rage and Web Rudeness

November 14th, 2007 (2:00pm) Anne Zelenka 15 Comments

Ben Worthen, Biz Tech blogger for the Wall Street Journal, got a nasty comment by email recently:

We received this email the other day in response to our post about Google’s mobile-phone operating system: “You are a moron…Hopefully you have not (and will not) procreate. It would be a shame to have your genes pollute the gene pool. PS: you’re a [expletive deleted].”

The web makes it easy to get feedback and have conversations. The flip side of that is it’s easy to get criticism and insults too. This isn’t exactly new — as long as there have been online bulletin boards, there have been online flamers and trolls.

What’s the best way to handle rudeness online? While you can learn something from your critics, when criticism tips over into personal insults that’s a good time to turn away. There’s little to be gained from engaging with those who can’t act civil online.

How do you handle web rudeness?

Comments (13)

  • I’ve done a lot of online email-based support in the past, and most of the rage I received was from trial customers who told me how bad our product or documentation was and almost always lacked details. I never ignored support requests, so the first half of my response explained how they could be part of the solution by providing substantive comments. The second half of my response referenced our money-back guarantee. This approach quickly separated the upset people who were unable to provide constructive feedback but wanted help from the trolls.

    myke2:54 PM on November 14, 2007 Reply

  • I always try to remember that Jesus loves them as much as He loves me. Then, I reply in a way that matches my motto: if you can’t say something nice or helpful, don’t say anything at all.

    Whoever sent Ben Worthen that email sounds like a very reactive person with no self-control, and I feel sorry for them.

    FekketCantenel — 3:28 PM on November 14, 2007 Reply

  • A big part of it is the webs anonymity. Its easier for people to send a nasty email then it is to say that kind of stuff face to face. Whoever sent this email expected at worst a nasty reply back, I bet he didn’t expect it to be posted for the world to see. I guess this is why god invented the block button.

    Aaron Pepper3:38 PM on November 14, 2007 Reply

  • Having been recently featured on TechCrunch, I know all too well about insults and the worthless and baseless opinions of the public. I too think it’s best to simply ignore insults. Don’t waste any time trying to defend your position, purpose, etc.

    A lot of people live for not focusing on their own lives.

    Ronald Lewis4:34 PM on November 14, 2007 Reply

  • People who post anonymously do not deserve to be heard.

    Anon. — 4:55 PM on November 14, 2007 Reply

  • Definitely a situation where you walk away. Nothing good can come from a confrontation with someone so close minded and rash.

    Anthony

    Anthony Russo8:09 PM on November 14, 2007 Reply

  • The best way – elegant silence.

    Kris Khaira2:23 AM on November 15, 2007 Reply

  • Ignore it. People who offend you just want to provoke a reply. Do not give them waht the want: additional publicity. Always remember that any offense is not true and the person who offends you is at fault. Otherwise he or she would have made a valid point instead of insulting you.
    Also Skellie has a grat article on that:
    http://www.skelliewag.org/criticism-a-rite-of-passage-on-the-web-97.htm

    Tad Chef2:38 AM on November 15, 2007 Reply

  • Simply Ignore it. How about the reputation Online. The comments will stay forever in some of the sites. Did a post on Online Reputation in our blog here:
    http://gravityfreedom.com/2007/09/11/dealing-with-reviews-comments-online-seo-sarasota/
    thanks for the post
    Suresh

    suresh9:48 AM on November 15, 2007 Reply

  • First, allow yourself the freedom to be pissed. Attempting to bury it without any reaction just won’t work. Then, if you cannot blow it off after kicking the chair etc, and it is too early in the day in grab an adult beverage, draft a response, print it out, and stick in your desk (or e-desk if you are truly a hard-core web worker with no such infrastructure). Read that response “later”, like next day or so, but never actually reply to the person (totally agree with those that say NOT to give the critic a response, esp. a passionate response). Writing the unsent response will allow you another vehicle to work thru the anger.

    Rick2:03 PM on November 15, 2007 Reply

  • Oh, I just edit their comments so they sound like praise. Hey, if they don’t like it they can go bother somebody else.

    Roberto12:31 AM on November 16, 2007 Reply

  • I had similar run-in with someone a last week, which inspired me to craft my own thoughts on the matter (click my name for more information), since the way I handled their comments (not in the way I would have liked, in retrospect) and the escalation of matters made me think.

    As one friend and fellow ‘blogger put it: “It’s not a question of freedom of speech, it’s a question of Editorial control.”

    And he’s right, but I do like to at least keep some balance, even when someone doesn’t agree with me…

    Wayne Smallman4:40 AM on November 16, 2007 Reply

  • Hey,
    That was a witty one Roberto.
    :-)

    Gubbi — 5:10 AM on November 16, 2007 Reply

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